Three Parables

by Brad D.


Please enjoy these three modern-day parables...

The Church is Closed, Please Come Back Later

Dear God, could you come back later? The church is closed right now. We heard someone knocking. Then someone shouted through the door something we didn't quite hear, so he said it louder. We think it was you. But we really couldn't understand what you were saying. After that we heard something being explained slowly and more clearly. Surely that wasn't you, God. What he said made no sense to us. Then you said it even more clearly.  Then we knew it must be someone else, but we definitely didn't agree with it, and we have all the facts written down right here in the Bible.

"You must have the wrong address," we said. 

Then the voice said, "No really, its me. Can you please let me in?". 

"Oh God, I'm so sorry we didn't recognize your voice. But we're really busy right now. Can you come back later?"  Its been quiet for a while so I guess you left. I hope we can get ready for when you come back. We've got a ton of work to do.

"Hey guys. I think he's coming back soon. Is there any way we can get this place cleaned up?  And by the way where did those 10 gold coins go that we were supposed to invest to get a good return out of it. Can someone go dig them up? God's gonna want those back."

Wait, someone else is knocking. Its a bunch of weird people. They seem to be dirty and hurt, some are bleeding. They're a total mess. They want in! 

"Hey guys, the church is closed. Can you come back later? Were trying to get ready for God right now."

Calling the World, Please Help

Please help! The church needs you. Please come and bring the truth to us. Please come and help to evangelize the church. 

• Calling people with differences. We have forgotten what you are like, its been so long since we knew anyone like you.
• Calling all economists and financial wizards. We need some advice on how to invest our wealth. Currently its earning no return and we need to move it to something worthwhile.
• Calling all scientists. We got confused and mixed up science and fashion. We thought if we just waited a while the old ideas would become popular again. Unfortunately, that hasn't happened and science keeps moving along without us. Can you help bring some rational balance please?
• Calling all philosophers and thinkers. Every week in our communities we talk about the most profound topics of our existence and purpose. But somewhere we stopped thinking and considering new ideas. We just keep telling each other the same facts. We could use good healthy debate and hear some complex ideas we don't fully understand. Can you give us some of that?
• Calling all creative humanitarians.  Can you help us find out how to really help the poor, exploited, and sick?  We have all this money here, and I don't know but maybe millions of volunteer hours, if you need them.  Could you help us figure out how to do some good work with this?

I can't promise that we'll let you in the door. If we don't then at least you tried. Just shake the dust off your shoes and try a different door, church or town. We need you so badly but we don't know it or want to admit it, but I beg you have a heart and come and help us! 

Paul the Talking Head

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight's stage. Today, we have the apostle Paul on the stage.  Not exactly LIVE but the next best thing.  We found this video segment with the early church manuscripts and today we're going to show it! The Holy Spirit, anticipating our technology, willed that this video would be found on a USB thumb drive and now we're going to show it (of course, someone posted it on YouTube). Anyway, the Holy Spirit warned Paul before he made this recording that it would be used for about 50,000 years so he was prepared to be as politically correct as possible in a way that could transcend all those years. The Holy Spirit also reminded him that he would be interpreted Verbatim as though he were talking to future generations, using timeless quips and unalterable principles that would work in any time and culture.

So, here goes. He's about to speak. It's amazing. What will he say?

He says: "Jesus is the real thing. I saw him myself, and when I did the scales fell off of my eyes, metaphorically at first, literally later (just want to be clear about that)! I saw truth and power.  Boy was I wrong and messed up before.  He loves us. 

Okay, good night and good luck!"

What? That's it? Where's my transcendental truth?

Oh, by the way, he says: "the Holy Spirit warned me you would take me literally and Verbatim no matter what your time and culture. Don't know why you would do that. Doesn't make any sense to me but if that's how you feel about it I won't say anything else so I won't be misunderstood. If you have questions, just ask the Holy Spirit. Fortunately he'll still be alive and present with you in whatever day you are watching this."